Best Wedding Dress
Three Wives ....
Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover.
The first woman says "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."
The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Parking
Half Off these Ticket ....
USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
Lets play Tennis
The Affair ....
A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot.
She keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:
"Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ..."
No Exceptions
Three Wives ....Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover.
The first woman says "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."
The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Parking
Half Off these Ticket ....USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
Lets play Tennis
The Affair ....A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot.
She keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:
"Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ..."
No Exceptions
Blonde Astronaut ….A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and
why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars
because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible
extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to
the sun you would burn to death?"
The blonde smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
Collective Hangover
What is Sex? …. 8 year son: Dad what's sex?
Dad gets tensed but explained everything.
Kid:
But dad how do I write all that in this small box of admission form?
He is very Clear about his choice
Interesting ….Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99, (Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)
Letters 'a', 'b' 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999, (Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)
Letters 'b' 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999, (Letter 'b' comes
for the first time in Billion)
and
Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting
Just Try......... ......... ........ except
C ..for...CASH !!
Advertising his skills right there on the Van
Actual Call Center Conversation ….On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a Worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'
Speed Control
Pretty clever, huh? Especially if moved around each day. Isn't it wonderful? It will surely slow you down!
People slow down and try to "straddle" the hole, then breath a sign of relief they completely cleared it!
Pretty clever, huh? Especially if moved around each day. Isn't it wonderful?