Random Stuff Inbox: Speeding

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a
State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a
speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -
two in the front and three in the back of the car - wide-eyed and
white as ghosts.

The driver obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't
understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be
the problem?"

"Ma'am," The officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you
should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be
a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit
exactly -- twenty-two miles an hour" the old woman said proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to
her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit
embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for
pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am", the officer says, "I have to
ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully
shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time."

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off
Route 119."

Best Wedding Dress

Three Wives ....
Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover.

The first woman says "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."

The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."

The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."

Parking

Half Off these Ticket ....
USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.

Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

Lets play Tennis

The Affair ....
A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot.

She keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:

"Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ..."

No Exceptions

Blonde Astronaut ….
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.

"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and
why?"

After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars
because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible
extra terrestrial life on the planet."

They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.

Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.

Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."

The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to
the sun you would burn to death?"

The blonde smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

Collective Hangover

What is Sex? ….

8 year son: Dad what's sex?
  Dad gets tensed but explained everything.
Kid:
But dad how do I write all that in this small box of admission form?

He is very Clear about his choice

Interesting ….
Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99, (Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)
Letters 'a', 'b' 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999, (Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)
Letters 'b' 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999, (Letter 'b' comes
for the first time in Billion)
and
Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting
Just Try......... ......... ........ except
C ..for...CASH !!

Advertising his skills right there on the Van

Actual Call Center Conversation ….
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a Worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

Speed Control