Mahindra Scorpio Commercial

Fact of Life

There's an APP for that.

That Friday Feeling

Women Can Keep Secrets

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."

"I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."

"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.

"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."

I Suggest you Buy

Female Plumber

We are never Satisfied

Revenge

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck???!!!"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche costs."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser.

Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a coffee break, but learned from a friend he had ran off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back.

He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did."

You Must Bring Your Own

Information

The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

The personnel office sent this reply...

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."

The More You Play The More You Sweat

All I did was tell them your Salary!

Last Names

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.

'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'are they all yours?"

' Yep, they are all mine,' the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, 'Sit down Leroy.' All the children rush to
find seats.

Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'

''Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named Leroy and the girls are all named Leighroy."

In disbelief, the case worker says, 'Are you serious? They're ALL named Leroy?'

Their momma replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' An they all comes a runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy.'

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'

'Then I call them by their last names.'

Think Hatke

Team Work

TEAM = Together Everyone Achieve More

This is the real meaning of team work

I Can ... I Can ... I Can

The grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with there names.

First up was Dan. A very adventurous child.

My name is Dan,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to India and Japan,
If I can, If I can, If I can.

Very good she said to Dan. She then told Sally that it now was her turn.

My name is Sally,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby
If I can, if I can, if I can.

That is good Sally, she said. But maybe one day you will change your mind.
Next up was Sam he was the naughty one in the class.

My name is Sam,
When I grow up to be a man,
Never mind India and Japan,
I gonna help Sally with her plan,
I know I can.

Bridgestone - Whale Commerial

Bridgestone Whale Commercial @ Yahoo! Video

Very Creative Ad for a Shampoo

Male Ear

Many times, people say that the women species talk too much...

But there's no problem, because the male ear is SELECTIVE

Example...

When the women say:

"This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you don't wash them now !!!"

...
...
...
...
...

The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, NOW !!!

Animation

You are Doing it Wrong

Power of the Human Mind

Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are,

the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.

Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Great Partner

Earphones

Why Spelling of Woman starts with a W?

Because All questions in the world starts with W..!
Such as.
who
why
what
when
which
whom
where
wife…?

HP Turbojet Diesel

Japanese Tow Trucks

 Look .... there's one now....

Here's two of them....

 How do they work?

 ....and away you go....

Q & A

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby looks like neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

Pink Glove Dance

Clever Advertisements

An Idea

Once in life, do fall in love, not necessarily with a person, but with an idea, a dream, or ambition.

More often, it will be a reason to wake up with a smile!!!!!

The Strong Survive

Nolan's Cheddar - The Strong Survive @ Yahoo! Video

Makeover

This photo below was taken at a competition in June 2008. The competition was between 9 women for best makeover. They had every possible beauty treatment available to them over a period of 12 hours before the contest. Look at the before and after photos. Conclusion - there are no ugly women only poor women.
The woman 2nd from the left won the contest.

Rubbing

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box ."

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that, You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

Underwater Astonishments

Irresistible

Doctors

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology".

The town's fathers were not too happy with that sign, so they changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors".

This was not acceptable either, so they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoid's".

No go.

So they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics".

Thumbs down again.

So they tried "Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives."

Still not good.

So they tried "Minds and Behinds".

Unacceptable again.

So they tried "Lost Souls and Ass-holes".

Still no go.

Nor did "Analysis and Anal Cysts," "Queers and Rears," "Nuts and Butts," "Freaks and Cheeks," or "Loons and Moons" work either.

So they finally settled on "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends"
**
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good either.

On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.

"But Doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said the physician, "I can cure pneumonia!"

ECE Bulb

Deforestation

Beware of Virus called WORK

The Centre for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to your friends. If you do not have friends and you have already been infected and WORK is sadly, controlling your life. Get help immediately.

It's too Late, Windows 7

Jeans at 70% Discount.....Imagine 100% Discount

Lighter Moments

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you,
it's only when you leave her a virgin.

Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm

When mating. Only 10% enters the female.
And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?

Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you?
To see if you really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?

Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow

You have to do it again with same perfection.

Wives are funny creatures.
They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks
And then they want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone
Is still getting screwed!

The saddest part of a man's body is his balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to "Hang Till Death!"

Malvern Star - Top Bike Downunder

A Typical Woman

The Second Wish....

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'