Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you,
it's only when you leave her a virgin.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!
The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm
When mating. Only 10% enters the female.
And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?
Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you?
To see if you really mean it!
Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow
You have to do it again with same perfection.
Wives are funny creatures.
They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks
And then they want to kill the woman who does.
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone
Is still getting screwed!
The saddest part of a man's body is his balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to "Hang Till Death!"
