Laugh a Bit

Anal Glaucoma

Employee: "I'm sorry but I can't come in today. I am suffering from Anal Glaucoma."

Boss: "Anal Glaucoma? What's that?"

Employee: "I just can't see my ass coming to work!"

Pervasiveness of marketing

The professor was making a point about the pervasiveness of marketing. He asked his students, "Which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?"

"United."

"Correct. Can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?"

"American Express."

"Right. Now tell me who uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?"

"My Mom."

Union talks

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out by their contract.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

A union negotiator broke the silence in the room.

"Wow!" he said. "Just think of the score he could have had if he wasn't sick!"