Her & His Dairy

HER  DIARY:

Dear  Diary:
Tonight,  I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to  meet  at  a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long,  So I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made  no  comment  on it.  Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what  was  wrong.  He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he  was  upset.  He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me,  and  not  to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved  him. He smiled slightly, and  kept  driving. I can't explain his behaviour.  I don't know why he didn't  say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat  there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and  absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to  bed. About 15  minutes  later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my  caress,  and  we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know  what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster...


HIS  DIARY:

My boat wouldn't start today, but at  least I got  laid.

Daily Digest

Oustralia

You already know ….
A man watching a hockey game on TV kept switching
channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple.
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he said to his wife.
"For heaven's sake, watch them," his wife said.
"You already know how to play Hockey!"
Pothles:

Add Spice ….
Mary: My #1 ex was probably the dumbest of all.
Jill: Why do you say that?
Mary: He came into the bedroom one night holding a
jalapeno pepper in his hand. I said, "Why in hell did you
bring that pepper to the bedroom?"
Jill: Well, what did he say?
Mary: He said, "You told me to add spice to our sex life.
Fact of Life:

Suspicion ….
A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the maid.

She thought of a plan to take him by surprise. One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed.

Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her. After an hour of wild, passionate sex, the wife, still in ecstatic reverie, switched on the lights and blurted,

"WELL - Are you surprised?"

"I sure am, ma'am!" stammered the chauffeur.
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